Important questions before dating

My answer most often is: “When you are not yet invested in the outcome.” That means as early in a new relationship as you can.Their next obvious concern is the kinds of questions they should want answered.Sure, you’re having a great time together a few times a month, but do you really know where you stand, relationship-wise? As conflict is an avoidable part of life, discovering how your date deals with it is an important part of getting to know him/her better. If your date needs a night on the couch to feel energized and rejuvenated, try to respect that, too. How does your date make decisions regarding big-ticket items?Is one of you hoping it will turn into marriage and kids while the other is commitment-phobic and enjoys seeing more than one person at a time? Money and sex are two driving forces behind divorce.If you both are interested in knowing what you can expect from each other in an intimate, long-term relationship, you should be readily willing to be just as open in return.Being willing to be as honest as you are able will give you the best chance of creating a heads-up as to what your chances of success are down the line.When you do have your first fight, debrief after it. When you’re dating someone, you’re both determining whether or not you fit into one another’s presents and futures.Sharing dreams and goals can better help you assess if you can partner with each other in a way that enables you both to thrive.

They want to know early on if they should invest the time and energy that a quality relationship requires.

Instead, they will talk about why their request is important to them, or offer to negotiate by giving something in return.

If nothing works, they depend on their own resources and don’t punish.

” New lovers typically focus on the ways they feel the same about everything. They will tend to ignore or suppress any major differences that could threaten that mutual reality. When confronted with a new idea that may challenge an established view, most partners will do whatever they can to resolve their differences as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, that may not always be a relationship-positive response.

Important questions before dating