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816: Seventy-five percent of the sounds we make during sex are purely for you.

914: Even if we're cool with your telling us a girl is hot, remember who you're coming home to.

Exemplars of the chill-bro variety are reserved, exclusively, for unwashed undergrads.

673: Even we know this: The craziest girls are the ones who seem the most normal at first. 737: Surprise field trips are the best, even if it's "guy stuff." If we roll our eyes, it doesn't mean we don't love the effort. 699: We say we love scary movies so we can cuddle up to you. 595: Just because a model wore super-skinny jeans with pointy leather shoes and a plaid blazer doesn't mean that the ensemble is appropriate date attire for you. 880: If you call the movies "the cinema," we will only laugh. They give us a chance to see how you deal with things. 469: Among other tips: when buying clothes for us, grab a similar item from our drawer and match the size. 877: Replacing the roll of toilet paper counts as one of those "little things" that we love. Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina No. 200: "Chuck Norris would do it" is not an excuse for bad behavior. 498: Though it might sound like a compliment in your head, never say, "It's cool that you can eat so much." Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York No. "Chicks," however, has very limited, case-by-case usage. 947: If we're at a sports bar during a big game, don't hit on us. 328: Those little nonsensical arguments, for us, are fun. If we see you in Tevas outside of a forest excursion, we'll do what we do whenever we see bad footwear: run the other way. 581: If we had to make the first move, you will be reminded of it for the rest of our relationship. 727: We are really more forgiving after fights than we let on. 797: When we agree to see Get Him to the Greek over Sex in the City 2, it's not because it looks like a cinematic masterpiece, it's because we're trying to be nice and you look cute when you're laughing. We like your own words better than those of that old guy on the bridge in Monty Python's The Holy Grail. Not calling all the time gives us a chance to try new things to get your attention. 337: Don't assume that your favorite beer is our favorite beer, too.